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Sonny took a fucking six hour nap (“nap”) and now none of us can fucking sleep. We have a shit load to do and none of us want to do it now -_- I have to finish my painting/sculpture project and we need to clean because the other new roommate is moving in at ten a.m. tomorrow, so this entire fucking day has been ridiculously stressful. Idk if I should just say “fuck it,” have caffeine, and try to sort all of this ridiculousness out. 
-Grant

edenor asked:

If I'm not being too insensitive, at what point in your life were you diagnosed with DID? Who diagnosed you? How did the diagnosis affected you at the time? Legit curious.

I was 19 (but I’d been experiencing talking to one of the others since I was 12), a therapist I was seeing at the time, it was really hard at the time. I don’t really want to go into too much detail, but it put a lot of strain on me and my relationship at the time and my parents chucking me out of the house only intensified the issue.

I actually have a separate blog for all the bad shit that’s really just personal stuff vs. this blog which is talking about all the positives because we like to keep that shit separate - this is where we all talk about goals and wants the little dips in sadness/bad news we DO post here is nothing compared to what is posted on the other blog/in our personal journals (we each have our own IRL journals if we need to vent somewhere not online.) I promise you we’re not all “it’s a walk in the park!” all the time. We all have days where more than one of us is depressed or having a hard time. Regular existential crises. All the people mentioned on our blog is only the cooperative insiders, not the abuser insiders we’ve had to push down or keep locked up to not cause more issue. Some insiders have died. It’s painful, really; it was painful then and it is painful now but it is easier now that I have a better handle on dealing with everyone. We try to make it so everyone is able to do things they want to do. Divvying up time between so many people can be very exhausting.

That’s basically what I tell people if they want a short explanation of DID: exhausting. The body is always tired because one will want to paint, one will want to write, one will want to watch a movie, one wants to eat, one wants to do homework, one wants to watch an online lecture about astrophysics, one wants to practise karate, there’s not enough time in the day, not enough money, for all of us to be satisfied all of the time. I’ve been exhausted for nearly 15 years and now I know why.

I realize this got a bit tangential, but I hope that answered your question.
-Rin 

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We signed Grant up for a painting class where I volunteer. This was his haul. All of this together cost $56.34 and that was with $14.09 taken off for a 20% discount. JoAnn Fabrics is apparently having a thing where all students get 20% off this month (by me, anyway), so that was nice. So, he’ll be getting him some learning soon. 
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We signed Grant up for a painting class where I volunteer. This was his haul. All of this together cost $56.34 and that was with $14.09 taken off for a 20% discount. JoAnn Fabrics is apparently having a thing where all students get 20% off this month (by me, anyway), so that was nice. 

So, he’ll be getting him some learning soon. 

And we’ve seen all that mockery too. And what we want to say, or would say if anyone would actually be willing to listen, is… nine times out of ten, when you scratch the surface on someone who is trying very hard to live in a fantasy world, you will not find a spoiled brat who is just so spoiled they think they’re entitled to be Someone Special and created their fantasy because reality didn’t give them all the specialness they thought they deserved. You will find someone whose real, waking life is mostly unpleasant. Someone who is being constantly bullied, or abused by their family. Someone who has some disability that no one has ever acknowledged and just doesn’t understand why things that come effortlessly to others are such an uphill struggle for them. Someone who is cognitively completely out of synch with what others expect from someone of their age, and deeply confused about the most fundamental aspects of what’s going on around them. Someone with severe depression or anxiety or PTSD that started long before they tried to cope with it by creating a fantasy world because they had no other resources available to them. Someone who has few or no friends who aren’t bullies or pity friends, outside of groups that might give them an opportunity to do all this stuff in a place where it’s considered normal.

Julian^Amorpha

Can’t emphasize this enough.  Bullying people, especially teens for some reason, for creating fantasy worlds to escape reality, is a really horrible thing to do.  Especially given what those teens are usually facing.  I was one of those teens, I did not and do not deserve one iota of the bullying I have gotten then or now because of anything I did.  I was doing my best to survive a horrible, complicated situation, and I would defy any of these bullies to do better in my shoes.  I don’t think they could.

(via youneedacat)

What really bothers me is sometimes people use the bullying and the hurt as reasons why it’s “sick” and “pathetic” to be so involved in a fantasy world. But everybody does things to cope with pain. Why should fantasizing be more worthy of contempt than anything else? It really hurts that people think this way.

(via youneedacat)

I don’t understand it either.

And I’ve seen a number of people who used fantasy to cope with pain, who came out perfectly fine in the end— as fine as anyone could be, given the circumstances they went through.

There’s this bizarre and sick idea in Western culture that fantasy, as well as storytelling and humor, are somehow “luxuries,” when they’re some of the most fundamental coping skills human beings use to get through terrible situations.  We touched on that more in this post.

I just don’t know what to say when I see people verbally tearing the shit out of someone who used fantasy to cope with an awful situation, accusing them of “wanting attention.”  Like it would be a crime even if they DID want attention.  It can be a cry for help from people who have never been taught in their life that they have the right to want a way out.

I keep being reminded of this quote by Tolkien about certain kinds of fantasy being “the escape of a prisoner, not the desertion of a soldier.”  And it seems like all most people can see it as is the desertion of a soldier, so to speak.

-j

(via amorpha-system)

*rolls around*
Okay, so the Legion actually got a good amount of stuff done today:
~Min got her paperwork for switching all her shit for her job done (which included going to the HR place and then to the library to make sure she got the direct deposit stuff)
~I picked up my corrected BHLP certificate (which they apparently already had bUT THE NOTIFICATION GOT LOST IN MY E-MAIL)
~Got Min new work shoes (mules so she doesn’t have to worry about the laces anymore) and apparently our sneakers were dead, and there was BOGO, so we got sneakers too (and now I am sad because the cashier there was cute bUT I WASN’T PRESENTING AS MALE so no flirts for me sighs)
~Dropped some stuff off at Goodwill (with more to come, I’m sure, as we’re clearing out the rooms)
~And then we went home and forgot to go to the bank so now we feel silly but that was too taxing without food so we’re going to eat and hopefully recharge and if we can manage to drag our butts out again, we’ll go to the bank and get kitty litter

-Rin

dissociating-in-wonderland:

cutie-princen:

birthplaceofstars:

Not all of us have birthdays. Some of us didn’t but chose one after. It made me wonder, do you guys’ systems all have birthdays? Were they always there or were they chosen? Are they important days to you guys or just there?

Some of us have birthdays but I’m not really sure why, they just kind of came with them… but we dont remember specific dates of when stuff happened so I cant tell if they’re important or not :S

Heather and I decided to celebrate her birthday on the first of every year, and she’s the only alter that ages naturally (aside from me) Jaime age slides, but has no birthday. The others remain the same

Some of us have birthdays (four of us have the body’s birthday, but one of us has the original due date (3 weeks earlier) as his birthday). Others either chose it or we used the day they showed up and called it their Manifestation Day :3 

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